The feeling that you never get to see someone you have dearly loved all your life again can be devastating. Coping through such a loss is a deeply emotional and personal experience. Although everyone has their own way of coping with loss, guidance from others may be helpful for the process of grieving.
Trust your feelings
First things first. Be faithful to your feelings. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad because someone you loved has died. Coping with a loss because of death can mean uncontrolled crying, depressive thoughts and feelings of helplessness. There are a myriad emotions that swirl around in your mind when trying to accept this new harsh reality of life. This is natural. Gently remind yourself that your feelings are yours and well within the norm. Know that loss can’t be measured, only manifested through emotions. Be truthful to yourself.
Seeking help through support systems
It is natural to want to be alone when you are grieving. However, it is important to get other’s support when dealing with a loss. Try to be with your friends, relatives, a therapist, etc. and talk about your emotions and feelings rather than shying away from them. Sometimes these people can be of great emotional and even physical support. Bereavement of a loved one can cause a vacuum and having someone to fill in the void can actually be of benefit in accepting a loss faster.
Allowing yourself to grieve
Many times, people will put a timeline on their grief, because they fail to realize that grieving is a process and not an incident. It is gradual, transpiring over time. Some books, such as ‘Death and Dying,’ by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross theorize that there are stages to grief (five stages according to Kubler-Ross).
This linear description of grief can offer insight into the emotional challenges we will be dealing with. Keep in mind, however, that the stages may not necessarily be in the order they are described in, they can occur more than once or they may not occur for you at all.
The first stage is often described as denial where your mind refuses to accept the demise of your beloved. It can be impossible for you to comprehend that the loss is real and not a figment of your imagination. In this stage, many people shift from acceptance to denial and repeateldy question themselves.
Another stage is anger. It is natural to feel angry because you had to suffer a loss. In this stage, you may have a dialogue with fate or God and express your anguish on ‘why you had to suffer this loss.’
The next stage is bargaining. Yes, you may find yourself bargaining in the hopes of getting your loved one back. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself saying things like “if only this happened a certain way, this loss wouldn’t have happened.” Feeling unimaginably sad and depressed is common. It is also common to not fathom life without a loved one.
The final stage is acceptance. Once you realize that there is nothing that can be changed about your life situation, you come to terms with the loss. Though deep sadness remains, you may now be able to manage the grief better.
The death of a loved one can be an intense and emotional journey. Getting the correct guidance from the right professionals may help you find some inner peace to deal with that loss.
At KORU Cremation | Burial | Ceremony, we understand this. Our team takes the time to collaborate with you when planning for cremation or burial, focusing on your needs at all times.
We understand that such times can be challenging and we work alongside you with complete empathy and respect to ensure that the process of cremation or burial is done properly as per your wishes.