Hi everyone, 

It is with great sadness that we write to tell you that Mum passed away. She had just gone into the hospice, which is a lovely peaceful place and she slipped quietly away a short time afterwards. She was not in pain and had family with her. After the quite intense pains that she has suffered sporadically these last few months, it was a blessed relief and she was more than ready to go. 

She has left behind, 3 children, 7 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren. She led a long, full, well lived life and was much loved. 

Wonderfully, Fr. Hawkswell came to give her the last rites, ( the Sacrament for the Dying ) and Holy Communion a few short hours before she died so we have no doubts that she is sitting joyfully in rapt adoration of God, quite overwhelmed by His love. Doubtless she will also soon be catching up with her very many friends, large extended family and er, trying out her new wings 🙂

Our thanks for the many lovely messages you sent recently. We read them all to her and she was so happy to hear from you. Thank also to those who came to see her in the last two weeks and our apologies those of you who had wanted to visit but couldn’t.  We know she really wanted to see you but was just too exhausted. 

Very many thanks to you all for your many kindnesses to our Mum over the years. She knew so many people in so many different walks of life and really enjoyed her times with you and valued your friendship. 

God bless and thank you,

Chris, Jill and John and families xox

The Funeral Service will be at St. Anthony’s Catholic Church, 2337 Inglewood, West Vancouver, on Saturday 11th October at 11am. All are welcome.

In lieu of flowers, please donate to the Union Gospel Mission for the downtown homeless, ugm.ca

Eulogy

Good morning. As you can see, Mum kept in touch with a wide range of friends. Wow, look at you all! Thank you so much for coming, it means a lot to us. 

Mum was born on 20th October 1926, in Seasalter, a small seaside village on the north Kent coast, about a mile from the nearest town, Whitstable, and 6 miles from Canterbury which has a beautiful cathedral that Mum always loved. 

She was the youngest of 3 daughters and they spent their early childhood running free in the fields and hedgerows outside their front door or trotting down to the pebble beach at the end of the road. Picking apples, plums and blackberries in season and feasting on Nana’s homemade pies. It was a blissful time of carefree innocence.

Fast forward to 1940 and a young girl of 13 lying on the summer hillsides watching the Battle of Britain taking place overhead. Not such a carefree time. 

Soon after her front row seat for the Battle of Britain, she was evacuated to a small coal mining town in Wales. She hated it. The family had a daughter, who was supposed to be a companion but Mum was a quiet bookworm and this slightly older girl was into lipstick and movie stars. They couldn’t have had less in common. 

Anyway, she ran away.… back to London.… twice! Can you imagine being a 14 – 15 year old girl, dropped into the alien world of coal mining in the middle of a war and trying to make your way back to London! Talk about determination and guts !! 

Mum and Dad got married soon after the war and joy of joys, a couple of years later I showed up.  I get the impression they were utterly charmed and delighted until I graduated to solid food whereafter the nappies ( diapers to you ) became more odorous. 

One day, after she was newly married, Mum came home to their little attic flat in south east London only to find a strange, heavily laden man climbing in through the window. He was a burglar, but specialised in stealing lead flashing off the slate tile roofs. Mum was very taken aback but this fella, calm as you please, said, “Don’t worry miss, I ain’t taken nothin’, I only came for the lead.” and walked right by her saying, “Oh, nice place you got ‘ere”.

Living in post war Britain was a rather dreary struggle and like many other young couples, they decided to move abroad. On the recommendation of a friend, they plumped for Livingstone in Rhodesia, Zambia as it is now known. 

Shortly before they left England however, there was another trumpet fanfare because sister Jill arrived. I never did understand why they were so happy. They had me, what else could they want and besides, she was girl !!!!

Livingstone was close to the magnificent Victoria Falls, which were spectacular but the mighty Zambezi River, which fed them, was home to hippos and crocodiles so despite the heat, one didn’t go swimming!  And the grasslands around the town had black mambas, green mambas and cobras, all deadly, so it wasn’t quite such an inviting a place to romp around in as the rolling hills of Kent! Plus in 1957 – 1960 there was increasing racist tension so after one 3-4 year tour they came back to England. 

And….. just after they got back there was yet another fanfare of trumpets and John was born. I mean really…..he was at least a boy but was I going to have to share my toys with someone else too? It really was a bit much…..

They were back living in Whitstable. Dad taught elementary school and wrote stories, some of which were published, though not enough for him to write full time and sadly, about 10 years after their return to England their marriage disintegrated. It was painful but they handled it with civility.

Mum had many different secretarial jobs, did a spell in retail, was a teacher and even owned her own corner store for a while. One of her favourite jobs was for a heraldry office as it involved researching the old parish records of churches all over England, looking for the ancestral family threads hidden in the births, deaths, marriages and christenings. She really enjoyed that work and often talked about it to us. 

In Canada she worked as a secretary in Vancouver Vocational College Food Trades Dept. She enjoyed the lovely staff and stayed there for 10 years until she retired.  

Mum was open to trying anything, well maybe not bungy jumping but pretty much anything else. 

Every year, Angie, her landlady, ran an outback hiking camp for birdwatchers. It was a massive undertaking because they went for a week into the middle of nowhere and Angie arranged all the catering for 20+ people, 3 meals a day for a week. They packed huge mess hall tents and tables, benches etc,etc and Angie asked Mum to be one of the kitchen helpers. Of course Mum immediately said, “Yes” because it would get her out into remote parts of BC’s natural wilderness. A couple of times they really were off the beaten track and had to be airlifted in by helicopter, which she found very exciting. It was a huge amount of work, with long hours but she did it every summer for 6 – 8 years, thoroughly enjoyed herself and made a number of good friends.

She was a keen quilter, sewed her own clothes, and knitted socks, sweaters and toques for many of the family over time. 

She knew a lot about herbal medicine, practiced yoga most of her life, and taught it in England and here at the Rec Centre. She was also very service orientated and as a volunteer for the West Van Keep Well programme, gave foot massages to any seniors that wanted one, every Tuesday, for 25 years,

John and Cee’s youngest son, Aiden, is a pilot and he gave Mum a wonderful birthday treat a few years ago when he took Mum up for an evening joy ride. I got to go too. We flew into a beautiful sunset that evening but on the return trip it was completely dark and Downtown was a fairyland of city lights. It was a magical trip and Mum just loved it. It was a highlight birthday for her and she often talked about it.

Just last week, Aiden was coming back from Saskatchewan and texted… “The Northern Lights were the strongest I have ever seen. 

It reminded me of Grandma and how much she enjoyed that flight. It almost felt like she was waving.”

And she was so enthusiastic….

One summer I took her and Raquel ( Gina’s wonderful caregiver ) on a whale watching trip. We puttered gently out of Victoria harbour but once out, the skipper opened up the throttle and 2 very powerful engines leapt into life. I well remember Mum literally dancing up and down on the rear deck saying, “Oh this is so wonderful, I don’t care if we see any whales or not !

She liked to keep up on politics and current events and had a good overview of what was happening … and the ramifications.

She loved gardening and every time she walked across her lawn, she’d pick up some weeds enroute. She also had a small “garden hospital” where she’d try to bring back to life any dying plants she’d found.

She thoroughly enjoyed driving and being driven. You could make Mum happy just by taking her for a drive. It didn’t matter where, it could be a trip to Costco, she just enjoyed the going.  And sometimes she would drive down to Ambleside just to watch people enjoying themselves and see the dogs charging around. 

Talking of dogs….There were always pets around. Kip, Chunga, Sporty, Ben her cat and whenever John and Cee’s dog, Marlowe, went missing, they always checked to see if he was in Mum’s basement suite first, because…. Mum had “treats”  

A couple of lovely stories: 

One day, Mum and Dad had their good friend Derek, over for lunch and Mum was taking out a large spoonful of salad cream to put on her salad when Derek made friendly joke at Mum’s expense. She stopped with the spoon in mid-air and pretended she was going to throw it at him and he laughed and said, “You wouldn’t dare”…. Splat, salad cream all over his face, his glasses, his shirt……Derek took it in good part but the lesson was still “Don’t Mess with Mother” 🙂

Mum was always a peacemaker.   One morning, John was giving Cee some driving practice before taking her Canadian test and there developed, as occasionally happens between spouses teaching each other to drive, some harsh words about “following instructions” and “not this lane, that lane” which escalated into a rather noisy…er discourse when Mum’s quiet voice from the back seat said, “Darlings, have you had any breakfast?”

Mum was a voracious reader, even resorting to reading the newspaper the fish and chips came wrapped in if there was nothing else. 

She loved art and music of all kinds, going to concerts and supporting any friends or family who were involved in musical endeavours. She was interested, involved and enjoyed it all.

Fiercely independent, she never gave up. Almost to the end she was using stairs rather than elevators in the conviction that “you use it or lose it.” 

Likewise, throughout her life, money was tight, sometimes very tight but she never complained and always lived within her budget. 

She was always on the ball and never missed anything that was happening. On her last day, when she was lying on a hospital bed and in a fair amount of pain, John said to us, “I need a coffee, anyone else want one?” and this quiet voice from the bed said, “Take my Visa card”.

As granddaughter Jen perceptively noted, Grandma was the Quiet Matriach, involved in all the family’s lives, knew what was happening to everyone but didn’t interfere and only made pertinent suggestions, when asked. 

When her sister Doreen, then living in California, was unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer and given a very short time to live, Mum dropped everything and flew down to be with her. Of course, she was family!

At her core, Mum was deeply Christian. She went to Mass regularly, got involved in various discussion groups and, this is key, she put in the hard work required to truly love and support people as Christians are supposed to do. 

For example:

After their break up, Mum now here and Dad in London, remained respectful, long distance friends. A few years afterwards, Dad remarried. Far from being upset, Mum always said she thought Lynn was good for Dad and Dad was good for Lynn and when they came for a visit to Vancouver, Mum joined us for many outings and actually took them out on some by herself. In fact, Mum and Lynn got on so well, striding ahead and chatting together that Dad began to get worried about what his two wives were discussing.

Some years later, I remember Mum saying to me, “When I’m gone, you must keep in touch with Lynn, she’s family you know !” 

I’d say that was a pretty Christian attitude !

I know she’s our Mum and we are likely to be biased but she really was an amazingly strong woman. She was intelligent, balanced, interested in everything, clear thinking, open to new ideas, new ways of doing things and always had interesting perspectives. She had a wonderful enthusiasm and zest for life and…. a delightful sense of humour. 

She got pulled over by the cops once in a roadside check and the policeman said, “Good evening Ma’am, have you had anything to drink ?” She hesitated a moment, then twinkled at him and said, “Actually yes, officer, about 4’o clock I had a nice cup of tea.”

I’m sorry this has been so long but 99 years is a long time. If she’d fallen off her perch when she was 50 it would have been half as long…..

but I think we are all pretty happy she didn’t.

Mum, you have been absolutely wonderful and we are gonna miss you….. John and Cee have already been instinctively looking through your living room window to check you’re okay when they walk past…….and your not there. At least twice a day for the last 3 weeks I have thought to myself, “Oh I must tell Mum that” or “I must ask Mum that” and…… you’re not there…. and Jill has been through some of the same. 

In the true British fashion of hiding a deep sadness in a joke, my good friend Dave summed up her loss when he said, “We’re going to miss your Mum, Chris, I mean, who’s gonna make the mince pies for your Carol Party?

        God rest you Mum and thanks……